Tonight you know what I did? I went out with my two friends for one of their birthdays. They wanted to be home by 10:00 PM. Since when do I have friends that don’t understand what it means to party? Is it because my youth may or may not be decaying? They were sort of boring so I just got the birthday girl PLASTERED and may or may not have touched her very inappropriately at even intervals during the night.

I may or may not have flirted with the bartenderess in order to get a $10.50 bar tab. I think it’s because I have that sweet innocence that girls say “awww” to about me. Not one person IDed me and I think this is due to the fact that they want to see what I’m like drunk. Do you know what else I hate? I hate when you go to places that you used to go with your borderline personality disordered ex all the time and you’re scared that you might run into them and they may or may not recognize you so you part your hair so the swoop is on the other side. You know, the straight side. Especially since I’ve been getting death threats, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do OKAAAAAYYYY?

So, I wont leave you all hanging so I’ma hit you with this fresh pic I found…

You guessed right, those are fucking BABIES!