I just got my first ticket ever. I was going 85 in a 70 because I was trying to not get killed by this 18 wheeler that seemed like it was going to swerve into the passing lane. I always speed up to pass them because I don’t want to get sucked up underneath one of those bad boys.

Anyway, the cop was totally nice and I told him I’ve never gotten a ticket before, then I started shaking as if i was seizing. He wasn’t phased, and pointed out that my insurance was expired. I freaked out and dumped the contents of my glove box out and I found the unexpired one. Why are those things always expiring? Why do I have 20 of them in my glove box? Why are the cops pulling me over when my expensive shit is getting stolen and when they catch the guys they don’t notify me? Why aren’t they out finding my expensive shit?

I came home and my mom as ironing and talking on the phone. I sat down waiting to talk to her about it, until she walked up to me and took the ticket out of my hand and immediately told the person on the phone that her fairy son got a pink glitter ticket for upside-down triangle speeding. She got off the phone and was in silence. She continued to iron, so I got up and went to my room. I’m feeling like she might come iron my face next.